Undone redux

A friend wrote me recently to commiserate on my loss. She lost a son and grandson a few years back. So there was no twaddle about how you'll get over it and so on. She said it does get less painful but there is no answer to the question "why?"
One of the nurses who helped us make it possible for her to die at home had also lost an adult son. She said she still just wanted to scream and scream.

At the end when nurses were doing unspeakable things to her, they would tell her how brave she was (as if she had a choice) She said "I don't want to be brave!" That was one of the last things she said.