Ten years on

No, the pain is still there.  You learn to cope -- distract yourself -- become embroiled in other difficulties.  The worst has happened -- you hope.

We see the Partner at least once a year.  He faithfully travels to visit the site where we scattered the ashes.  I've only been once -- finding the walk more and more difficult.  Funny, we never thought about that at the time.  That we'd get too old to make the journey.  But you don't think about that.  You only know that this is where she'd want to be.

Her brother still feels the loss, although he doesn't mention it.  Our cat died last spring.  He was 18 years old and increasingly in poor health.  He died while I was holding him (must I always be the one present at deaths?)  We didn't want to put him to sleep unless he was really suffering.  And we didn't want the vet to "take care" of the body.  Devastated, D. built a wood box.  We lined it with some sheeting and laid Max in.  D. put in his favorite toys.  We dug a very deep hole in what was once my father's vegetable patch.  The box was sealed and lowered.  We filled it in and I put a sprig of lilac on the mound.  He was a good cat.  I hope E. is there waiting for him.